FAQ
FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS
Questions?
Still deciding whether Becoming One is the right marriage preparation program for you? Here are a few frequently asked questions compiled by Sandra Lynn Borchardt, founder and president of Marriage Designer.
Marriage is the most wonderful, complicated and intense relationship you will ever experience. Would you join a new sports team without learning its rules and necessary skills? Would you drive a car without understanding the traffic laws and getting instructions on how to operate a vehicle? Of course not, and it is even more important to learn the most effective relationship skills and agree upon how we will treat each other during good times and difficult times.
“Becoming One” is a complete Marriage Planner and Preparation Program that has two major goals. First, is to help you both discover what you are expecting from your marriage. It will guide you through blending those expectations into an agreed upon customized Marriage Plan. Secondly, Becoming One will teach you the necessary relationship tools needed to make your Marriage Plan a success. Here are some of your other choices:
- Marriage seminars: There are many marriage seminars that are enriching and informative. Unfortunately, it is difficult to speak honestly and privately in a group setting. The information in a seminar is presented once and if you forget one of the steps in a skill, you can’t review it. The Becoming One program can be reviewed as often as needed to master the material.
- Pre-marriage Counseling: Professional pre-marriage counseling can be a great tool to work on a specific topic that is of concern to you both. But to cover the broad topics of effective communication and problem solving skills, successful relationship attitudes, and agreeing upon a customized Marriage Plan the counseling program would need to be an extensive 8 to 10 sessions. We do of course encourage you to accept spiritual counseling on marriage, presented by your Church.
Yes, the book “The DO’S & DON’TS of Marriage” (Included in the “Becoming One” Program) is an excellent book to help you prepare for a secure marriage. There are many other good marriage books available. But our research has shown that during this very busy period of planning for your wedding, finding the three or four hours for both of you to read and discuss a book is difficult, much less the hours needed to discuss and agree upon a customized Marriage Plan. That’s why we made the book “The DO’S & DON’TS of Marriage” into an informative video program! The DVD teaches all the essential relationship skills needed in an intimate marriage. The activities in the “Becoming One” Marriage Planner easily guide you through planning a marriage perfectly suited to the both of you. The entire Marriage Planning and Preparation Program can be completed in an afternoon and will cost less than one marriage counseling session.
You can plan the world’s most amazing Wedding, but if you’re not both prepared with the necessary communication and problem solving skills needed to succeed at marriage, all the time you spend on wedding planning will be useless to your long-term happiness.
Yes, I can guarantee “Becoming One will show you practical, easy communication and problem solving skills. If you put them into practice, these skills will increase your ability to communicate clearly and solve problems effectively. Plus, the program guides you through creating new shared marriage expectations, designing a marriage perfectly suited to the two of you.
Now that you are committed to creating a life together, you are setting up your new family’s patterns of interaction. By learning and setting up the positive behavior patterns revealed in the “Becoming One” Program you will be establishing a respectful foundation to communicate and solve conflicts. You can begin practicing them during the wedding planning conflicts and upcoming major decisions. After the honeymoon, if you find yourselves in the middle of an emotional issue, your positive patterns of interacting will be firmly in place and you can quickly solve the problem following the steps you have learned, maintaining a respectful attitude.
We have developed a survey that helps you clarify your personal marriage expectations. By reading your fiancé’s survey, you will understand what they are expecting in the marriage. After you have learned the effective communication and problem solving skills the Becoming One program teaches, you will use these new skills to create together a Marriage Plan perfectly suited to the two of you. You will simply complete together the “Becoming One” Marriage Agreement form that it guides you easily through the process. Most couples complete the Program in 3 to 4 ½ hours, then spend the evening celebrating.
Becoming One can only be purchased directly on this site. Ask your guests to purchase Becoming One at https://marriagedesigner.com