This is my very first message for my new marriage and relationship blog. Actually, it is my first posting ever to any blog. Sharing ideas on how to create a marriage filled with joy and love that endures is the goal for this blog. I treasure my loving 44-year marriage as one of the most rewarding things I have accomplished in my life. I want to help you create the intimate marriage you want. Each blog message will have thoughts on marriage, life, and happiness for you to explore. I will share a lifetime of experiences so you can avoid painful paths and create your personal path to happiness.
I encourage you to reply to the blog and add to the discussion. I will answer one each question on marriage that is posted.
Today’s question on marriage is: Why do most marriages lose their excitement and joy?
First, living so closely together brings unresolved problems to the surface. Most couples do not have the communication and problem-solving skills to discuss those frustrations.
Secondly, the pressures of life demand our attention. It is tempting to turn our attention from each other and take each other for granted. On a daily basis, marriages need loving attention in order to flourish.
Remember when you first met? You were attracted to him. You hoped he was interested in you. You did everything possible to impress him. You were attentive to his every word and expression. There was such joy in your heart when he expressed his love for you for the first time. Pleasing you was a priority to him. Unfortunately, this often is the high point of so many relationships. But, it often goes downhill from there. Once married, you might have felt as though you’ve won your price and can relax. And, while being at peace is fine, your marriage will win as long as you both continue to treat each other as the greatest prize. Be aware of this human tendency of taking each other for granted and overcome it. To accomplish this, you both will have to agree to stop several times every day and remember to be thankful for each other and your relationship. The best time to do this is when you are falling asleep and as you wake up. This can set the tone for the day. Count your blessings and the first one should be God’s love and then each other.
Here are ideas to grow your gratefulness for each other:
- Remember how much you longed for your husband to love you when you were dating.
- Remember all the wonderful things about your husband. List those things and then tell them.
- Remember there are thousands of people who would be thrilled to have the love you are blessed with.
- Remember to plan ways to show your love to your husband. Think of sincere compliments and loving acts to do today.
This is just a start, if you have more ideas to add to the list, please send them and we will include them in a future blog.
Now, back to solving the number one cause of marriages losing their excitement: lack of problem-solving skills. The answer to this is to study behaviors within yourself and your partner and begin using good communication and problem solving skills. Please consider the marriage program offered here, Becoming One. It was designed to help you discover these skills in the privacy and comfort of living room.
Remember to send the questions you want me to tackle.
Your Marriage Mentor,
Sandra Lynn Borchardt